Self Sabotage (2019)

Elle is back home after a recent failed suicide attempt and must struggle with intrusive fears, thoughts and feelings of herself that sabotage her relationship with her cautious but optimistic mother. This film explores the feeling of being labeled as a "monster" or the "problem" and having your motives presumed by those around you as malicious rather than a cry for help or depression that you are struggling with. Further more, this film is unique in that it explores the moments at home after the suicide attempt and recovery from a physical and mental hospital. Most films end after the "excitement" of these but don't address the residual feelings of coming home and having to face your loved ones and the fear and guilt associated with trying to rekindle the damaged relationships from your depression. It is an apology to my mother whom I have had to cut out of my life for almost a decade.