Kenny Kaiser

Major League Baseball umpire who spent 13 years in the minor leagues...and who is the only umpire to be fined ($25) by a league president (George McDonald, of the Florida State League) before his first game. That was for getting in a billiard room-brawl against a guy who turned out to be the catcher for the Cardinals' farm club; Kenny actually hit him over the head with the pool table, after the other fellow cracked Kaiser's rib with a cue. At the age of 19, Kenny was hired by the (Class D) Western Carolina League...which was so notoriously tough on umpires that, once, its entire staff quit on the same day. Kaiser's first day in that league was the closest he ever came to being killed. The man Kenny was to work with that season was a 6'10", 275-pound fellow; it certainly didn't help that said man carried a chip on his shoulder almost as big as Kaiser himself. (Let's call him Goliath) Kenny and Goliath worked their first game at Greenville, South Carolina; at the pregame meeting, Goliath actually refused to shake hands with the opposing managers. Although Goliath was not the world's greatest umpire, Kaiser was too intimidated by him to question any call he made. At the bottom of the 9th inning, Goliath made a call which cost Greenville's home team the game...and which led to a full-scale riot. After a dressing room-fistfight between Goliath and the Greenville manager (preceded by another fistfight, between Goliath and a Greenville runner whose nose was broken as a result), Goliath pulled a Magnum from his overnight bag and forced his way through the angry crowd with Kenny in tow; both umpires had to be escorted out of town by State Troopers, so that the enraged fans wouldn't lynch them. The next day, Kaiser and Goliath were each transferred to separate leagues. In A-ball (the minors), Kenny had a talent for ejecting people first and asking questions later. Once, the public-address announcer made a joke after a close call at home plate: "The score is Lynchbrug 1, Salem 1, Kaiser 1." Kenny ejected the entire pressbox - all the sportswriters, maintenance people, electricians, et al - plus everybody in the crowd who laughed at the remark. Since then, he has learned to think before reacting.