Christian Hoffman

Christian Hoffman is a self made billionaire. That's with a "b". Christian completed his schooling, graduating in 1992 with a Bachelor of Farts from the University of Maryland. Along the way, garnishing many honors, medals, and nicknames. Christian set off to conquer the world. He initially landed in North Korea on a yoga retreat where Christian boldly started the largest "night soil" operation in all of Asia. Creatively stifled and no longer able to bare the smell, Christian sold his night soil business in 1997 for a then reported - $69 million North Korean won. Which he promptly doubled in one hand of gin rummy into- $169,695,969,691.69 billion Somalia shillings. Never one to toil, Christian then became a highly successful pirate in east Africa. With no practical sailing knowledge and a gripping fear of open water, Christian again triumphed and was named by People Magazine - 2nd Most Handsome Pirate of 1998. A mere 14 votes behind the uber handsome and very funny pirate - Yusuf Mohammed Siad Inda'ade. A year later, the I.W.P.A. (International World Pirating Association) reported that Christian Hoffman had a then world pirating record; 8 large professionally sized caves filled with solid gold booty. Unable to dodge his fortune and growing fame, Christian made a harrowing late night escape through the Strait of Malacca. Screaming so much, he temporarily lost his voice for over a week. Now at a professional cross roads and with the uncertainty of Y2K looming, Christian made a tough life choice. He left the glamorous lifestyle of pirating behind and became an editor in Hollywood, CA. Here Christian found immediate success, even winning the prestigious, 2002 Tony for Editing. Success has continued to follow Christian Hoffman everywhere. He is currently working on a 3 part book series - 69 Ways to Tell a Fart Joke. While he does not like Root Beer as a drink, he loves it with ice cream.