Josh Cooper

It was an ordinary morning in April... until it wasn't. At 11:10 am, the sound of a baby wailing echoed through the Englewood hospital, as one of the most extraordinary babies in human history was born. "GASP!" said the doctor delivering the child, "This infant is already 4 feet tall but only weighs 7 pounds; he truly will be an exceptional endurance runner one day. As the female nurse carried him away, the young Josh winked at her and caused her to faint at the sheer power of his seduction. Luckily Brad Cooper, the father of this swagger-filled dream baby was able to catch Josh and protect his exceptional brain from harm. This passage has only covered the first two minutes and forty two seconds of young Josh's life, but it provides a crystal-clear preview of the magnificent life Josh would go on to live.